emotional roller coaster

As you know, I had been covering my friend, Tanya's job for 8 weeks while she tried a long term sub position at the end of last school year. She felt, after the time spent subbing, that God was leading her to stay at LCBC and continue on with her job. We became fast friends when I joined the team 2 years ago and I tried my best not to show my favor with her staying as she went through her subbing. I was, to say the least, very relieved that she was staying.

Then, about 2 weeks ago, I was visiting her as Joe was helping with some plumbing stuff and she finally got the nerve up to tell me that she had gotten a job for this school year and was finished at LCBC on August 15th. I did my best to listen to how God had opened another door after she thought he had closed all doors in that direction. She wondered why this had fallen into her lap when she was so set on staying at church. I stayed strong and finally broke down at the end. She is such a good friend and co-worker and I feel like I am losing a lot. Selfish really, but she told me she is even struggling with it as she finishes up her job. I am really kind of mad at God for this one. Not sure what he has planned, I know it must be good, but it's really hard to accept.

So, I have cried my tears and been stressed trying to decide if I can even take her position, which was offered, but it is going to be full-time soon and I just can't with the kids, as much as I want to. Just be praying that I can be a good "helper" to whoever steps in and that I won't have a chip on my shoulder about it all. Pray for Tanya too as she is struggling, and has been torn, these last several months about this decision.